PALLAS LOST
I was a lonely kid. I was weird, unpopular, and deeply obsessed with learning. I didn’t know that I am autistic until just a few years ago, which has helped me understand a lot. As a kid I spent an overwhelming amount of time devouring books, such as the Rogue Squadron series, which led to me coming up with universes, battles, and more. I probably spent ninety percent of my time in my own little imaginary world. I never knew what to do with those imaginings until I decided to try writing for NaNoWriMo one year. It took years after that point to get something coherent down. But ultimately, it all started with trying to imagine a time and place more exciting and colorful than our own.
The first time I got a review from someone I didn’t know was a highlight. Doubly so that the review was extremely positive. Ever since that review, every single time someone says something positive about my work is like a light shining against the darkness. Each positive note is a solid rebuke against my self-doubt. Even if I reached just one person, I consider my career an unqualified success.
The biggest hurdle by far has been my self-esteem. I have found it incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to believe I am any good at what I do. That self-doubt has plagued me my entire life, and Pallas Lost was almost another victim to it. One of the reasons it took ten years to publish Pallas Lost that I kept exiling it to the back of the digital closet. I really didn’t think it would ever be good enough.
Believe in yourself! When it comes to putting your art out to the world, there are so many voices, both external and internal, that will tell you that you can’t, that you shouldn’t, that you just plain won’t. Find a voice that says you can, you should, and you will. If you’re lucky, that voice will be one of your own, but you’re just as lucky if that voice comes from a spouse, a friend, or even a random passerby. But don’t stop with promoting yourself; join the indie community and shine a light on your fellow writers. There is so much power in uplifting those around us.
